A Year Of Changes

It’s traditional for people to recap their previous year when a new one begins.  From famous personalities to everyday bloggers, some sort of end of year / new year segment is the norm.

Who am I to break tradition?

For me 2016 was a year full of changes, some good, some not, but most pretty drastic.

The biggest change was that Master and I ended our traditional D/s relationship.  We struggled through so many changes in our schedules and availability that it became almost impossible to properly maintain our relationship as it was.  We are not completely out of touch, but the days of my needing to communicate with him every day, or tell him every thing that happens to me are no more.  What does the future hold for us?  I have given up trying to guess or even imagine it.  I am not a person who manages well with a life of “what ifs” so I try my best to just take it 1 day at a time.

The happiest change was that I embarked on a fitness and weight loss journey that has so far resulted in my losing over 35 lbs!  I have struggled with my weight for many years but last year something just clicked, I made some new friends who were also struggling and together we kept each other accountable and moving forward.  I have not quite reached my goal of 50 – 55 lbs but I am confident that in another couple of months I will be where I want to be.  Losing all that weight has it pros and cons; it’s fantastic to see my abs again, but it’s frustrating to go into my closet and find clothes that fit well enough to not make me look like a sack, or worse, just fall off of me.  I have added choice new pieces of better fitting items here and there, but going out and buying an entire new wardrobe is an expensive and daunting task!  Oddly I feel that the change in my relationship with Master actually helped with the weight loss, not because of depression or lack of appetite, but because of the independence it brought to me, and the determination that each choice I made was in my best interest, not someone elses.  But no matter how you look at it, I did it for myself and I feel great about it!

The most unexpected change was in my professional life.  I took an important and difficult class and made a job change.  Doing this after turning 50 can be very difficult but I did it and I am busy making new friends, connections and a new schedule.  Fun but a little intimidating!

The saddest change was the loss of a close family member.  It was unexpected and shocking, and left myself and my mother in a very odd place.  There was no service or time for the family to get together and grieve, leaving us is an almost zombie like state, as if nothing had changed but knowing something was different, something was not right.  The pain from the loss has been intense and the struggle to get back to “normal” life is ongoing.  My energy level drained, my motivation was tapped out.  But as with anything else, life goes on and things are slowly returning to normal.  Luckily, through the whole thing I had my fitness journey and it gave me the motivation to get out of bed each day and get moving.  Without that I can only imagine the days I might have wallowed around, lacking the will and energy to get anything accomplished.

So here I am, trying to recover from a year of some of the most drastic and emotional changes of my life.  But, if this post is any proof, hopefully I can continue to move forward and settle into a new routine, one that includes blogging once again.  I am sure there are many others out there that went through difficult and even exciting changes in 2016, but I guess we all roll with the changes.

Thanks for reading 🙂

5 thoughts on “A Year Of Changes

  1. Beth, you can move forward. you are stronger than you think. yes life has set backs but you have already overcome many and each day you continue to think that you are the best there is a battle you are going to win. Enjoy each day for what it is.

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