You know….when I started along this D/s submissive road the word “adore” annoyed me a tad. It did not seem real. I had never used it that I can remember, but then again, I did not use the word love that often either.

Regardless, Master used to say he “adored me” and I struggled to respond appropriately. Then one day we were talking and he forgot to hit the mute button when he took another call and I heard him tell another woman he “adored” her.

Now, while we have an understanding that I am not a jealous person, and I am alright with him playing online or in person with people who can provide something I cannot, I draw the line at him getting the same thing from others as he can get from me. Surely you adore only me, and if you adore another then why adore me?

Yes I am submissive, but I am also pretty experimental, easy going, and special. Am I perfect? No, but I give with very few reservations and I think that is worth something. If it is not, then move on.

After my hearing that, Master and I had a bit of an issue, I already have a very mistrusting heart.

Thankfully we have gotten past that, and I only talk about it because I don’t want to use “adore” in this post.

I will just say it, I love my Master, which to me is past the cheap “adore” because it seems to be a word that many use to dress up “like”.

I LOVE my Master. I love his brain, I love his imagination, I love his cock and I love his thirst for seeing me in pain.

Now I am pretty sure that Master feels strongly about me too, but I will not speak for him. The issue we are having right now is that since we are feeling so strongly about each other and we have been together for a couple of years, we are now very involved in each others lives. And as most people that get to that point we become more emphatic, we want to help, we want to change things.

Sadly only I can live my life, only he can live his. Our time together is precious, but when some of that time is wasted with recriminations and emphatic input about relationships that do not directly involve us as a D/s couple….it is a waste.

I love my Master, and to feel that I have to withhold things from him to avoid wasting precious time saddens me.

Xoxo beth 

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