I have a friend that I email with, and meet with occasionally, usually just for lunch and some sharing. We have never played, our relationship is a friendship that started with sharing thoughts, issues and opinions.
He responds to my posts by email to me, and recently I’ve wanted to share some of his responses. Below is his response to my post about collars and wearing them publicly (http://wp.me/p1knLw-QV);
Ironically, this is a topic that a women from an online relationship I had was interested in. We had many heated discussions about it. She wanted a collar for a very long time, and I was very conflicted by the whole idea. It almost felt like at times, that she felt like it held some sort of mystical or magical powers. The reality is that it is just an inanimate object. Meaning, she is “collared” with or without the existence or bearing of any type of collar. I can take my ring off, and I am still just as married as I was with it on. I submit that for you it is much the same…….that you are just as owned by your owner with or without any sort of collar. Would you agree?
We all have to live with and deal with the reality of life……and that reality requires us to live among, deal with and to some degree “tolerate” others in order to achieve the goals with we set out for ourselves in life. A more blatant exhibition of your ownership may be a hindrance to your necessary dealings with the outside world. I personally have always admired your “public” collar. I felt like it was/is very tasteful and discrete without being over the top and overbearing.
I submit that your analogy to Muslim women is not accurate. I don’t know for certain, but what I have read and heard is that most of these women do not do what they do due to their personally held beliefs but the beliefs of others, which is oppression. Given the opportunity, I suspect many or most would not go such great lengths to “cover up”. Further, if they are truly committed to their religious beliefs, I can’t see them not being any less muslim with not having and bearing the required garb. Just as I would not consider you any less owned without any form of collar.
So, at the risk of contradicting your owner’s beliefs, I would respond to your final question with the following question. Are you any less owned with out any collar, obvious or not?
I admit my friend’s email warmed me, he is correct, being an owned submissive is a feeling, not a piece of jewelry. For us (my Owner and I) the biggest issue is that in times of torment, when he is not available to me, my collar makes me feel closer to him. I have a few items that have come from him and I can hold close to me in difficult moments. However I think my friend is correct, if we were together full time (my Owner and I) I would be able to stroll the world with that knowledge deep inside me, with memories of what we’d shared dancing in my mind. A collar is more important when participating in D/s activities or being at home, with him or without him…..participating in the everyday “real” world means nothing, it is just a means to an end….that end being getting home to my Master.
What do you think out there in D/s land?