Some unexpected warmth

I met Master a couple of years ago, after having to give up a Master I had adored, due to a crazy situation with his wife. I know, what is crazy…..he had a wife?  The crazy part was their “open / closed / open / let’s share / closed / FUCK IT” relationship. My head spinned!

Anyway, it finally got too nuts and Master agreed to release me.

We had become very close and since I am not that “warm” of a person I had not looked for or expected to meet another Master.

Lucky for me I did and we have had loads of fun. We have had our trials, but he’s been persistent, patient, and delightfully torturous.

Having the emotional attachment issues I have can make it difficult for people who want to care for me…..on the other hand, many of those issues arise from the male “don’t be so bloody clingy” attitude, which leaves me with extreme befuddlement when I am asked “You don’t like to kiss much do you?” by a particularly close male playmate.

“Grrrr, make up your bloody minds boys”.

But I digress….becoming close to Master has been difficult; becoming dependent on him, needing him, missing him…..loving him. This has all required very large strides on my part. Not as hard for him I think, he’s naturally more affectionate, what I like to call a “caretaker” type.

During this roller coaster of attachment I have gone through plenty of painful times missing him, then hating him for causing the attachment, then pulling away….only to become reattached when we are together again….and so on and so on.

But today I realized that something has changed. We seem to have reached a more equal footing, at least emotionally, and missing him is ok, it does not hurt as much because I know we will be together again soon. And I feel only happiness and relaxation when we are together, no more emotional hurdles to get over.

Such a nice unexpected warmth on this lovely Sunday afternoon…..I love you Master 🙂

beth

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s