Archive | October 2013


Her Sir had gone away and she missed him terribly.
She knew the trip was important, she wanted to be strong.
But each day that he was gone was harder and harder.
They chatted online, they cammed at night,
But her body still ached for his touch, his whip, his cock.
She found herself naked, reaching….for anything that made her feel closer to him.
She loved time alone, but she hated time without him.

Message to Sir


I am not the romantic type.  I’m not a cuddler, I’m not a toucher, hugger, kissey kissey type of woman.  I enjoy sex, I enjoy pain, I enjoy being used, but generally once done, and when going through my daily life, touchy touchy is not me.

Lately though, I’ve been cuddling.  Well sort of.

I’ve never slept well, I sleep lightly and wake often.  But lately I’ve found my bed very comfortable, and I seem to almost sink into it at times, the blankets surround me and I feel cozy and cuddled.  I’ve even been sleeping better.  However I do suspect that part of the need to sleep is stemming from a symptom of depression, but for now I won’t worry or focus on that.

I wonder if I could feel as cozy with a person cuddling me while I slept?  How much do you cuddle?


Calming the search

CaptureI’ve written a bit about looking for a Domme, even meeting a few.  I have placed my profile on Collarme as this was suggested to me by some contacts in the lifestyle.  I had many replies at first, some interesting, some way off and others just annoying.

At first I got excited with the prospect of actually finding someone, but as time went on I tired of the responses from people who either don’t bother to read my profile, are convinced they can change my mind from the requirements on my profile or just plain don’t care.  Then there are those that are interesting but after a few emails just disappear….what is up with that?  Is there no honesty or honor?

I have tried to make my profile as simple, clear and straight forward as possible.  Yet still I have couples contact me (I have specified no couples), men contact me (I have specified that I am already Male owned and not looking for a man), and the one that really amuses me are the ones that contact me and argue with my definition of local.  I have specified that I want someone local, I have even mentioned the geographic area, and still I get responses like “Well I’m not that far away, I am local”.  What is the purpose of a profile if people don’t bother to read them, or just ignore them?

Oh and I do not want to forget about the “McDoms” who have the approach of “you are a sub, just submit and do what I say” *snort* really?  Oh I’m all a quiver now *swoon*.

I have finally reached the point of resignation and patience.  My situation is difficult to fit a regular playmate into, so the fit needs to be right.  We have tried “almost fits” before and it has never worked, it has been at best a “fling”, at worse a disappointment.

I do not need more stress or disappointments in my life, so I’ve become very cautious and resigned to the fact that I may never find the right woman to fit into my situation and life.  For now I will channel my energies elsewhere and take it one day, or should I say, 1 email at a time.

Wish me luck 🙂