On the interesting site I found last week one of the posts I enjoyed is about Owner or Master guidelines and the training of a sub, and who is best equipped to do the training. This page made me smile as I applied it to my owner….and I will have fun with this one.
Doug talks about the idea of the Owner and the Trainer not being the same person. When I read his logic I can understand it, however for me it would not work as a long term plan.
I often watch vids from sites such as “Training of O” and while I can understand the logic of a more distant person being less flexible with actual training, for myself the idea of going through so many things, both physically and emotionally, for a relative stranger, is not something I am interested in.
Trust is so important, Master and I often talk about my inability to trust him when I am with a “surrogate”. Perhaps it’s my life experience that has led me to trust only in myself or someone who can actually affect the situation. Simply put; if Master is not there, he cannot control what someone else does so that means I must count on myself.
That opens up another question. Could I go through that type of training with a relative stranger if Master was in the room? I think so. Knowing he could read me best, and step in if needed would go a long way to helping me feel at ease. In fact, I would expect that his presence would help me push harder and/or tolerate more. I have always felt that certain tasks were unrewarding to me as I was not able to get instant gratification from him because he was not there, I was not able to see or feel his pleasure.
Doug also talks about things in training that can affect the subs feelings towards her trainer and I can see that. There are things Master and I have talked about that I caution him on, telling him that we need to be careful about things that might have just that affect. The other concern can also be that an Owner may not be as harsh or unrelenting during training as needed. While Master is good to me, maybe at times “a softie” he is also a sadist. Stopping before achieving his goal because of my tears or begging is not a concern I have.
The best think about the D/s lifestyle is everyone is different, these are merely my thoughts and feelings.
More on this page to come.