Archive | March 2013

Need to sleep

So many things to do, so little energy.

Every day I struggle to wake, kick my own ass, and off I go.  I work out, I do errands, I work a job…..and I hope for the best.

Some days end well, others not so much.

Luckily there are not too many days that end like this…..with the need for pills to help me sleep.  And for a double dose.

Night all 🙂


Domme / gf search continues

So I’ve renewed my CL ad and actually got what seemed like a good response!  Oops, guess I gave away the outcome a little there didn’t I?

Anyway, the initial email was written in proper English, and had a lovely picture with it.  In hindsight I realize the picture should have been a red flag.

It did seem odd that such a gorgeous Domme would reply to a CL ad, and send her pic right away…..and she was not in Dommy garb, just a regular bursting cami and jeans.  *sigh* I still have much to learn.

So I replied, and she responded, asking to know more about me.  My first email inquired about her location, after all, I am looking for someone to meet with so she needs to be fairly local.  She did not respond to that (2nd red flag?) and when I sent her some basic info about me I ended with “What else would you like to know?”.

Below is the response I received back;

“Ok Beth I want to know what u are wearing plus if u have a webcam & are will to wear what I say with in reason email me back”

So the English has fallen apart, and what do I need a webcam for if we will be meeting?  And wait…..who the h%&*l does not have a webcam these days?

So dear readers, want to vote?

Do you figure she’s a he?  Just trying to get me naked on cam?  Would “she/he” then proceed to spread my pics/vids all over the net?

So “she’s” knocked off the list, thank goodness I have SOME sense!

Of course there is the other lovely response I received;

“I’ll be your Dom you lil fucking bitch.. I would love to take control of your slave ass… “

Really?  Who sends this stuff?  Oh….I’m charmed now!

lol….have a good one dear readers, hope you are as amused as I am!


I recognize the signs, now what?

Years ago I felt that something was off, well more off than usual that is.

Anyway, after some confusing times, and some research, I figured I was showing signs of depression and I discussed it with my doctor.

I was very lucky, he wrote me a prescription, which worked right away and within a year I was able to come off of the pills and have always been grateful that the difficult time passed.  I can remember how horrible I had felt, and once it passed I knew the difference.

Lately I find myself showing some of the same symptoms and I am worried.

While the pills worked I do remember the side effects and I do not want to go through that again.  For the year I was practically never able to orgasm, plus it took about 6 months after coming off the pills for my sexual desire to return to “normal”.

Now I cum everyday, most days several times…..and I LOVE it!

But besides the side effects, I am also nervous that I won’t be lucky the second time around.  Most people who go on anti-depressives have to spend months just playing with the type and dosage, dealing with the frustrating doctors visits and ineffectiveness of the entire process.

So for now my “treatment” will have to be working out, enjoying my wine, and time away from the normal routine….fresh air and sunshine.

Wish me luck 🙂


McDoms live on

Since Master and I have decided we would really like me to have a Domme to work with and to help train me when he is not around, we’ve been keeping our eyes open.

I did meet a nice couple, but they are a couple and she is very busy socially.  Ideally we were hoping for someone that I could do girl stuff with as well, become friends with, as I really would like to have a female friend I do not have to hide part of myself from.  Not to mention some girl stuff can be intertwined with tasking or playing :).

We will see what happens with the couple, but in the meantime we decided I should place a CL ad.

It is a pretty straight forward clear ad.  I specify that I am an owned sub, that Master is often out of town and that we are looking for a Domme (female) to further my training.  I am specific in the ad that she would have to coordinate and communicate with Master, that things need to be approved by him first.

Anyway, big surprise my first response was from a “Dom” who said he has a sub that he has taught to dominate and that he was interested also and that I would “love” him.

Now I like to be polite and respond to the fairly intelligent responses I receive, however this one gave me a couple of pauses.  First there were spelling/grammar errors in a few short sentences (hate that), and second the “love” him annoyed me… my opinion, that word should never be thrown around casually.

So I could have simply ignored his response, but my devilish side got the better of me and I decided to respond.

I was polite, I thanked him for his interest but reiterated that I am owned by a Master I adore and I am not interested in another.  Think that would be the end of it?  HELL NO!  But we all knew that right?

The next 3 emails I will quote as I want to be sure not to “slant” anything.

Him; Well you never met me, and i’m very confident. But put that aside a
slave or sub needs to be shown attention, you said her is in another
sate? or travels alot, so i can give you you’re fix while he is gone.
Trust me honey i’m the real deal and have own 24/7 live in slaves. I’m
training a female now ot be a DOM.

Now I am annoyed….my response;  Just the fact that you have ignored my polite response and are attempting to poach a sub from another Dom tells me you are nowhere near “the real deal”.  Loyalty and respect are important aspects of any D/s relationship and you apparently have neither.
Do not email me again.

In hindsight I realize it might have gone better had I said “please do not email me again” but did he really deserve it?

I had hoped it was done but…..

He; Jesus christ you’e fucking idiot and have not read anything.  I’m sick
of you newbies thinkg you know everything when you dont knwo shit.
first of you dont tell me what to do, because i ill smack him and put
you in check. second of all just because this guy feeds you bullshti
does not mean i do.  You’re lost yoiu nuct job!!!

*sigh* where do I start?  The spelling?  The barely decipherable sentences?  Or the pure horrid anger?

Now, while this was amusing for me, it was also scary.  I can’t help but think about the “newbies” he mentions ending up with him, even for one minute.  The damage someone like him can do is horrible to think about.  Emotional, physical…..

McDoms are dangerous, there is no other way to say it.