I am a rather standoffish person and while I “love” my husband, I am not “in love” with him.
I have had my issues with being in love and have chosen to stay away it since.
I had a friend that I used to discuss love with quite a bit. He felt I should let down my walls and let love in. In fact he wanted to be the one I loved.
I asked him why he would want such a responsibility. At the time I don’t think he really understood what I meant. Now I realize that even I did not really understand.
With love comes responsibility, responsibility to the person who has handed their love to you, to treat that love and that trust with care.
In a D/s relationship that love comes with even more responsibility. When the sub commits to her Dom, she hands over certain controls, certain rights, certain choices.
Today most D/s relationships are not 24/7, after all, the world and life interferes. A working woman will have some difficulty explaining to her coworkers why she wears a collar.
In exchange for her handing over these things to her Master he offers her something. In every D/s relationship the exchange is different, and unique to them. But in this exchange there is also responsibility.
Usually the sub will keep her Dom apprised of her daily activities, and her Dom is usually within easy reach. There are always times when this is difficult but each counts deeply on the other to be there.
In my case, as a sub, when I hand over such control, along with play, one of the most important things I get in exchange is emotional support. A friend that I can say anything to, without judgement, and I come to count on that cushion that is there for me, as my Master counts on the various tasks he assigns me.
Not so long ago my Master told me he had plans for a few days, and while I knew these plans would mean our communication would be restricted I did not count on his simply disappearing.
I grew depressed and despondent as hours went by without a word.
When I finally heard from him and I told him how I had felt he was surprised, he had not meant me to feel that way.
And that is when I realized what I truly meant when I said that with love comes responsibility. While there may be many freedoms in a D/s relationship that do not exist in a vanilla relationship, there is still accountability, and responsibility to your partner.
Always remember that your actions carry a weight, sometimes the smallest thing can cause the deepest pain.