I have always considered myself fortunate to be aware of my orgasm.
I was a bit of a late bloomer sexually but I was knowledgeable so I pursued my orgasm. Whenever I had a new partner I would make sure they learnt how to make me cum, I was a little shy but subtle hints worked well for me.
I have always had clitoral orgasms, my vaginal orgasms have been rare.
But yesterday I realized something.
I had a play date recently, which I will tell you about soon, and it was delightful.
After we were done, and we were chatting I felt so relaxed, but I felt that it was more than the wonderful pain he had caused; there was something different.
During the evening, as I would think of our play, and a secret smile would cross my lip,s I was struck by how my orgasm seemed different.
That is when it hit me.
All these years I have been cumming; yes I made sure I could cum, but it was all physical, all mechanical.
Now, slowly, through my exploration of D/s and with the trust I’ve developed for my play friends; I am starting to let go of more than just nerve endings.
My mind is finally starting to let loose and just enjoy the sensations.
When he made me cum there were no thoughts, there was just exquisite feeling, gagged screams and restrained shudders.
Now I am feeling what it is to cum…..not just to have an orgasm.
To cum or not to cum….there is no longer a question.