Archive | June 2011

Laying In Wait…..a novelette…..part 7

The week seemed to drag until suddenly it was Friday.

When she dragged herself up the stairs and closed her apartment door behind her she heaved a huge sigh of relief.

Work was difficult lately and it was wearing her out.

She reached for her favorite bottle of red wine, determined to allow it to wash away her stress.

As she savored her first sip the doorbell rang.  Now what, she thought.

As she heard Josh’s voice through the intercom she was torn.  She did not want to go out, but seeing Josh would be nice.

After a minute’s debate she decided to throw caution to the wind.

“Hey Josh, I don’t feel like going out, but why don’t you come up and have a glass of wine?”

“That would be nice” he replied and she hit the door button.

She left the upper door open and went back to the kitchen.

He stood close behind her in the kitchen as she reached for another glass and poured him some wine.  The top of her head came to his nose and he could smell her shampoo, and also the day, in her hair.  He clenched his hand as he resisted the urge to bury it deep in her hair and drag her to her knees.

For a moment she was tempted to lean back into him, to feel him strong behind her, but she shook it off and turned, glass in hand.

He smiled as she turned and handed him the glass, he turned casually away as he felt himself growing hard already.  He wanted her badly.

She led the way to the living room, wine bottle in hand and settled onto the couch.  She indicated the chair but he decided he wanted to be closer, and he sat at the other end of the sofa.

As they talked and enjoyed the wine she got more comfortable and she turned towards him, curling one leg under her, the other dangling.

He stared at her ankle, imagining a leather cuff fastened to it, a chain leading from the cuff to the floor, holding her where he wanted her to be.

She leaned forward as she talked, giving him a glimpse of her cleavage and he imagined how her breasts would look tightly bound.

She laughed at something he said and as he admired her pretty teeth he thought how well a ball gag would fit into her mouth, stretching her lips.

He could do all of this now, he could do whatever he wanted, right now.  No one knew he was there, he was sure that their friendship was too casual for her to have mentioned it to anyone, besides, she did not even know his last name.

He itched to slap the smile off her face, to fill her throat with something besides wine.

But he waited.

He wanted her to come to him, he wanted her to ask, he wanted her to beg him to take her.

Finally he leaned over and gripped her chin, he pulled her face closer to his and while looking into her eyes he teased her lips with his tongue.

She had stopped talking and her breathing was labored.  He claimed her lips with his and slid his tongue into her mouth.  A moan escaped her as he kissed her slowly.

She slid across the couch and pressed herself against him.  He felt her heart thudding, he could almost smell her excitement.

Again he knew he could take her but he did not want to.

He broke the kiss apart and with her chin still gripped tightly in his hand he said “I should go.”

“Oh” she almost whined, “must you?”

“Yes” he said as he got up from the couch.

As she walked him to the door she tried hard to hide her disappointment.  She had a feeling he would be a good lover, she would love to have him stay the night.

At the door he turned and lowered his head to hers but he did not kiss her.  His lips hovered a breath away from hers, he waited.

“What would you like?” he whispered

“A kiss” she breathed softly

“How do you ask?” he asked

With a little sound she whispered “Please?”

He growled as he roughly took her lips, his arm wrapped around her and he pulled her tight to him, letting her feel his excitement.

When he was done his lips once again hovered over hers, “Good girl” he said.

And he left.

She tossed and turned that night, thinking of him, of his kiss, of his strong grip on her chin.

When she finally fell asleep she was wet and wanting.

The next week was routine but busy, except for another woman being attacked.

Every day when she came home from work she looked around for Josh, hoping to invite him up to share another bottle of wine, and hopefully more.

But each day ended in disappointment, her new friend seemed to have disappeared.

Friday night came back around and she treated herself to take out, and spent more than normal on a bottle of wine.

The take out was eaten, the leftovers put away and the bottle of wine half gone when her door bell rang.  Her heart was thudding in her chest as she approached the door with hope.

Her stomach flipped with excitement when she heard his voice, her palms were sweating as she buzzed him in and waited at the top of the stairs.

He smiled at her and asked lightly “Did you miss me?”

“Yes!” she said, louder than she intended.

“Show me how much” he said.

She reached up to kiss him but he held her off.

She looked at him in confusion.

“Is that the best you can do to show me how much you missed me?” he asked.

Dimly she realized something was going on that she was unaware of but she could not help herself.

“What would you like?” she asked.

“That’s more like it” he said with a smile.

“Remove your clothes” he ordered.

Her smile faltered and she hesitated.

His smile began to fade and she felt an odd panic.

Her fingers trembled as she reached for the buttons on her blouse.  One by one she undid them slowly while he watched.  He did not reach to help like most men would.

She let her blouse slip from her shoulders and she loosened the zipper on her skirt.  It too slid to the floor.

Still he watched.  As she stood before him, in her panties and bra she hesitated again.

This time he smiled encouragement.

“You’re doing well” he said

She hooked her fingers into her panties and she slipped them off, and with a deep breath she reached behind her and unclasped her bra, slowly letting it join the rest of her clothes on the floor.

As she stood before him his gaze never left her eyes.

“Turn and face the wall”

She turned slowly, facing but not against the wall.

“Get onto your hands and knees”

A little bit of fear filled her stomach but she got onto the floor.

He pushed her knees apart with his foot, she could not see him as she waited, on her hands and knees, naked.

A cry escaped her mouth as suddenly she felt his fingers between her legs.  He caressed her and then leaned over, holding his wet fingers to her mouth.

“Lick your juices” he ordered quietly

With a groan she licked his fingers and tried desperately to suck them into her mouth.

“Stay” he said.

She was trembling as she waited, she heard a zipper, she felt movement behind her and then she felt him between her legs.

He did not touch her, but he was there.

“Tell me what you want” he said.

“Sex” she answered.

“Tsk tsk, you can do better than that.  You are supposed to be showing me how much you missed me.”

She groaned as she felt his fingers touching her softly again, her thighs ached as she felt him push a couple of fingers inside her.  She felt empty when he removed them.

“Now, what do you want?”

“I want you to fuck me” she whispered

He pushed closer to her and she felt him hard against her wetness.

“How do you ask?”

Groaning she could not stop herself “I want you to fuck me please!”

He grabbed her hair and pulled her head back as he shoved himself into her.  He bent her back cruelly as he fucked her brutally.

She screamed in pain and pleasure, she could hardly catch her breath and suddenly she was cumming around him, listening to him growl as he felt her squeeze him.

He pushed harder, he wrapped her hair around his hand like a rope and shoved fast and deep, her screams spurring him on.

He pushed her head to the floor as he pulled out and collapsed on top of her, his cum covering her ass and dripping onto her back.

As his breathing slowed he whispered to her “Don’t move”.

He got up and there she lay, on her knees, ass in the air, now coated with sweat and his juices, her face and shoulders against the floor.

She heard him dressing, she heard him move away and then she heard water running.

His steps came to stop beside her and she felt warm as he lay a warm wet towel on her.  He knelt beside her and moved the warm towel over her back, cleaning and cooling her at the same time.

He brushed her hair away from her eyes and he bent to lick her lips gently.

He pressed his face lightly against hers and got up once again.  She waited.

He returned and covered her with a light blanket.  He placed a glass of wine near her head.

“When you hear the downstairs door close, count slowly to 60.  Then you may get up.  If you don’t, or if you rush, I will know and I will never return” he instructed quietly.

“Do you understand?” he asked

“Yes” she whispered.

“Good girl” he said as he reached down for a last caress of her ass.

She heard his feet on the stairs, she heard the door close and she started to count.


To Cum or Not To Cum….

I have always considered myself fortunate to be aware of my orgasm.

I was a bit of a late bloomer sexually but I was knowledgeable so I pursued my orgasm.  Whenever I had a new partner I would make sure they learnt how to make me cum, I was a little shy but subtle hints worked well for me.

I have always had clitoral orgasms, my vaginal orgasms have been rare.

But yesterday I realized something.

I had a play date recently, which I will tell you about soon, and it was delightful.

After we were done, and we were chatting I felt so relaxed, but I felt that it was more than the wonderful pain he had caused; there was something different.

During the evening, as I would think of our play, and a secret smile would cross my lip,s I was struck by how my orgasm seemed different.

That is when it hit me.

All these years I have been cumming; yes I made sure I could cum, but it was all physical, all mechanical.

Now, slowly, through my exploration of D/s and with the trust I’ve developed for my play friends; I am starting to let go of more than just nerve endings.

My mind is finally starting to let loose and just enjoy the sensations.

When he made me cum there were no thoughts, there was just exquisite feeling, gagged screams and restrained shudders.

Now I am feeling what it is to cum…..not just to have an orgasm.

To cum or not to cum….there is no longer a question.


Loneliness….what is the definition?

So often people say “You must be lonely” whenever you are alone.

In a restaurant, in a bar, in a cafe, in a movie…..if you are alone, and if you catch someones eye….they tend to think of you, or refer to you as lonely.

For me being alone has never meant lonely.

I was always that kid the others did not know what do do with.  I did nothing to encourage hate, but I would not blend.  And I did not care.  So yes, eventually they hated.

I remember days…..weeks…..when I walked home being followed, taunted and kicked by the other kids.

One day an aunt who lived nearby had heard, and she told me that the biggest “hater” was a tall but skinny and weak boy, in her opinion, and she encouraged me to stand and kick him back!

Well….one day I snapped and that is exactly what I did.  To everyone’s shock we stood basically kicking each other for a few minutes; neither one of us winning, and we finally just sort of drifted apart.

I have since learned some skills…..if I decide to put up a fight, it does not last long 🙂

But I digress…..that was just a taste of what many people base their definition of loneliness on.

When I was about 10 my family had a cottage and we spent most weekends and summers in the country.  The neighbors children were about 4 years older than me and mostly left me behind.

My dad, being the original tough guy who wanted a boy, would always tell me that I did not need friends…..I had plenty of books.

So I would read, alone, and walk….alone.  Today I am ok with this, except that I realize where it has come from; this desire, this need, this love of being alone.

However most people are not like this, and don’t understand my “unloneliness”?

This general lack of need for other people led to the easily trusting nature that put me in the line of fire often as I grew into a teenager and a young adult.  More fuel for my love for being alone.

I lacked experience in the “games people play” therefore I was prime meat for their games…..and I got taken advantage of, and hurt.

Leading to me……not wanting or needing anyone.

Until…..some people broke through.

Some through persevering (why?), another through love, and still another through sheer kindness and desire I think.

But now…..loneliness has  more meaning, more depth.  And I still feel torn, and sometimes want to return to being happy……being alone.


Laying in wait…..a novelette….part 6

As she was doing the dishes after dinner she was started as her doorbell rang; she did not expect a guest.

She hit the intercom button “Hello?”

“Hey” she heard “It’s Josh, just wanted to see if you wanted to take  a walk, the spring sun is not set yet..haha”

Her heart slowed, and she thought a minute.

Her sad heart tugged, her strong person pulled….”Good idea, give me 2 minutes to change”

She pursed her lips as she ignored the pull of her quiet couch.

She bounded down the stairs and smiled at Josh at the door.

He stirred as he recognized the bravado behind her smile; she was almost ready.

And off they went.

They walked and talked, casual but more personal as the darkness fell.

The darkness was what she needed as he confessed feeling like an outcast in his 30’s because he did not want to settle for just any “piece of ass” he said, excusing himself for the expression.

She talked of her feeling isolated; of her independence that seemed to work against her.

Suddenly their feet led them back to her steps, and it was dark.

Awkward they faced each other.  She could not help but reach for him, he could not help but wrap his arm around her waist and pull her close.

Their lips met, their mouths opened, their tongues tangled.

His hand found her breast, his fingers touched, found and squeezed her nipple lightly.

He was filled with satisfaction as she groaned and her body arched towards him.

He pulled away slightly and she whimpered.

“What” he whispered against her lips.

“Please…..kiss me” she breathed.

He kissed her hard, he pinched her nipple hard, not realizing how hard until he felt her cry out against his lips.

He softened his grip, he groaned and pulled away slowly.

“I should go” he said

She kept her weight heavy against him,…..hoping.

He turned her to face the stairs “You need to go…..”

She smiled weakly…..kissed his forehead and moved up the stairs.

As she closed the door behind her she leaned against it and wondered why she wished he had just ravished her at the door… old fashioned inkling?

Or something else?

As she got into bed her hand hesitated at her panties.  Feeling her wetness, her tingle, she pushed her panties to the floor, and she reached for her toy.

As she snuggled beneath her comforter her legs spread, her fingers dipped into her wetness and she imagined Josh……pinning her hands above her head, thrusting himself into her…..biting her and leaving his mark.


Laying in wait…..a novelette….part 5

When Stacey had her lunch on Monday she took a deep breath as she opened the newspaper.

A small gasp escaped her lips as she read another headline, another woman….taken, assaulted…..just blocks from her home.

Someone entered the lunch room and she put the paper down…..

He waited in the shadows…..he heard her steps…..he saw her.

Her head was high, she walked with wide strong strides; homeward bound.

He did not need to follow; he knew where she lived.


Something Wicked This Way Comes

For the past few weeks I have been off.  I have noticed something, a twitch almost, and I have stamped it down, ignored it, not even realizing it is a “thing”.

I have fought the desire to do all the things that are bad for me; eat too much, drink too much and even go jogging.  I love jogging but I have major back and neck issues that don’t allow for it.  But anyone who jogs knows that high, and that there is no substitute.  Except maybe boxing, or shooting; perhaps it’s time for a new hobby.

Even my swimming has not always been as effective as it usually is.  Normally I feel the stress ease from my body and mind with the first lap, but one day this week I was at lap 16 before I felt relief flooding my mind; I felt a true physical shiver run through my body, finally.

But tonight, as I once again went to bed early because I was “tired”, which I know is really my mind’s way of avoiding something, I started to fantasize a bit.

As I lay in bed I nearly groaned out load as I imagined my head being pulled back by my hair.  I could almost feel the strain in my neck as a strong hand gripped my head and pulled me around to them.

I pictured myself on my knees, then my wrists bound behind me, and I could feel the relief flood my body.

That is when I realized what submitting does for me and how important it is.

When I submit, to the right person, it clears my mind.  It allows me freedom, it gives me focus and removes all the “little” things from my head.

For that time of submitting I am not thinking of anything except the person controlling me, and my own actions and response.

I am filled with fear and passion, both overpowering emotions, that do not allow room for things like worry or depression.

Oddly enough I also realized that during that time I am filled with thoughts of survival.  This sort of makes sense as I am that person who sleeps with the bedroom door open, likes to sleep near the door, sits on the outside of the dinner table and would prefer to stand at a crowded party than to sit; trapped.

But I live for being restrained; what a conflict!

When I am restrained, tortured, used, manipulated; all I can think about is what is going on at that moment, and how to survive it.

So tonight I realized how much a part of me submitting is, to the right person.

Have to find a “therapist” I suppose.


Laying in wait…..a novelette….part 4

Sunday was bright, clear, warm and she started the day off scrubbing.

Little did she realize she was watched as she opened her windows, letting the sun shine in.  As she shook her dust rags out the window, she was too focused on her own cleaning to see him watching.

As the sun moved in the sky, and the lemon scent filled her apartment, she grew tired.  Finally she looked around at everything sparkling, at the corners that were dust free, and took a breath.

She tossed her rags into the laundry and went to the balcony.  As she absorbed the warmth of the sun he turned to leave, satisfied that she was done for the day.

As darkness took over she left her sparkling clean home; she felt she had earned a evening out.

He hid in the shadows as she strode down the darkening street; and watched as she picked her table in the local pizza joint.  Again the waitress joked with her; and she felt herself relax as she took that first sip of wine.

She tried to focus on her book, but her mind was somewhere else.


She started as his hand touched her arm lightly.


They both laughed.

“Small neighborhood alright” he said

She laughed and as her snack arrived, looking way too big for her to eat alone she gestured to the empty seat across from her.

“Share a snack with me?” she asked.

“Well, if I am not intruding”

She laughed, feeling confiident “On who?  Please, have a seat”

And he sat, watching her blue eyes flicker, strong but….

They shared supper, they laughed, they drank.

Her troubled soul tumbled more than she liked to Josh; this seemingly open easy listener.

He listened, he absorbed; and he grew hard envisioning her dark lips swollen after his use, her blue eyes filled with tears, her deep laughter turned to groans and screams, her sexy throaty voice begging for release; her body straining to belong to him.

“Josh, hey Josh…’s late, I need to get home”

“I will walk you to your door.”

“That’s sweet, but really, not needed”

“Not sweet, how can I accost you next time if I don’t protect you this time?”

She laughed and he helped her to the door.

As they walked back to her place they talked casually.  When they reached her stairs she turned to him, unsure.  He bent and kissed her lips chastely.

As she looked up into his eyes, her aching soul cried out, and she curled her fingers into the hair at the back of his neck, and pulled his face to hers.

Her tongue teased his lower lip, his moan escaped as he pushed his tongue between her lips and pulled her closer.

Her body molded to his, she yearned for some human connection and comfort.

His hands on her hips he broke their kiss.

His forehead pressed hard to hers as he groaned,

“I’d better go, before I rape you right here”

She laughed, and headed up the stairs.  As she locked the door behind her she did not realize how honest that statement had been.

He faded into the shadows across the street, he touched his hard cock, and he debated.

He knew that if he knocked on her door, she would welcome him in.  But, she would not be ready to bow to him.

He watched her silhouette appear in the upper window, he breathed deeply, and with a last look, he moved off.

Some other shapely female would fill his needs tonight, whether she wanted to or not…..but soon.