Tonight I had a lovely evening out, dinner with friends on the 30th floor of an ocean front building. The ocean was blue, the waves were relatively calm and the breeze was lovely.
The conversation was interesting, the food marvelous, and the wine enjoyable.
On my way home, as I reflected on the evening, with my vanilla friends, I wondered about such an evening with D/s lifestyle friends.
An evening were everyone is open about their desires, no one is hiding or ashamed, but the evening is still “just” dinner, conversation & wine.
As I went over the evening in my mind I realized that as much as I enjoyed myself Iwas still guarded. The people I was with were friends, but not people I would trust with my care. I still maintained control and awareness, looking out for myself.
That lead me to wonder how relaxed I would be if I were at the same type of evening with a D/s crowd, with D/s friends and I realized that there are only 3 people I trust to care for me, to watch out for me in such an event. Only 3 people that I would be relaxed enough to “watch my back” haha.
I think I am glad to have those 3 people, but I also think I am sad that I trust so few. Or maybe that I am so mistrusting?