Day 7…..falling to CL

So putting one foot in front of the other is my mantra.

I miss my routines, I miss my friend, I struggle not to be sad.

But last night I did something I know I’m not ready for; I looked at Craigslist.

All the ads just seemed so superficial…..they probably are.   Lonely or drunken people posting to satisfy the urge of the moment, I need something deeper.  Something that will make me feel cheap, not easy *smile*.

I still don’t know if I looked at CL to find something, or to convince myself that there is nothing out there for me, either way it made me sadder.

When I had a Fetlife acct it did not do much for me, I ended up being contacted by more fakes or people looking for online play, than anything else.  I am past that.

If I am to continue my explorations, I want to do it in person.  Which is not easy, considering that I am not free.  I am actually leaning towards a female, a Domme, but there don’t seem to be many on CL.

Anyway….just some thoughts…..ttyl…..beth

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s