Day 2

Another day where things in my life are not as they should be, are not as I have gotten used to.

They say nobody likes change, I myself like change, I just don’t like losing that which made me happy.

I once read a blog by a sub who has lost her Master, I don’t remember the exact details, but what struck me was how she talked about spending days in bed, curled up in a ball.  That I can understand.

In a way having people around me that have no clue of my desires and my struggles is good, I have to put on a happy face and get through.

But all the habits that I had developed, which in reality are no different that brushing my teeth when I get up, or making the bed before I leave the house….they are habits that give comfort.  Those habits have changed, where is my comfort?

While I am busy, harried, stressed by the work I am temporarily doing….it is keeping me from wallowing.

And then there are those moments of deep sadness…..until I take a deep breath and push forward.


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