Another day where things in my life are not as they should be, are not as I have gotten used to.
They say nobody likes change, I myself like change, I just don’t like losing that which made me happy.
I once read a blog by a sub who has lost her Master, I don’t remember the exact details, but what struck me was how she talked about spending days in bed, curled up in a ball. That I can understand.
In a way having people around me that have no clue of my desires and my struggles is good, I have to put on a happy face and get through.
But all the habits that I had developed, which in reality are no different that brushing my teeth when I get up, or making the bed before I leave the house….they are habits that give comfort. Those habits have changed, where is my comfort?
While I am busy, harried, stressed by the work I am temporarily doing….it is keeping me from wallowing.
And then there are those moments of deep sadness…..until I take a deep breath and push forward.