When?

When will life get easier?

I don’t recall my grandparents struggling like we do, everywhere I turn everyone has absolutely the perfect life…..until tomorrow, when all the shit hits the fan and they can barely pull their chins off the floor.

Seriously, for everything from money to jobs, kids and relationships….it just seems to be such a struggle.

I get annoyed with my husband because he gets upset at something and then its just gone.  The problem is not gone, he has just swept it away.  He even seems to re-write history so if you talk to him about the problem in a year….no matter how big or bad it was, he has “no clue” what you are talking about.  But you know what?  Maybe that’s a handy talent to have!  There are certainly many things I wish I could forget about.

Recently I went through what I think is one of the saddest events of my life, I think particularly because I had to actually choose the thing I did not want.  I still look at it each day with a touch of sadness.woman-with-her-head-in-her-hands

There were some benefits, but I wish I had not had to make that choice.  So I take 1 day at a time.  Tomorrow it will be 2 weeks, things have adjusted, but not a minute of my day goes by when I don’t wish it was different.  What’s the saying….if you love something set it free?  It sucks.

So instead I try to focus on work, working out, meal prep, taking care of inner me.

Only 1 big problem with all that…..I’m still so fucking horny! *sigh*

 

Update time!

So I did a beginning of the year post, you can read it if you want to be up to date and as I am still battling I figured I would update the status.

Let’s see, I had wanted to read more, almost daily, but for sure a few times a week….sadly 2016 has given me less than 1 reading session per week, not at all what I had wanted.

I had planned to take a day a week for courses, but between everyone’s emergencies, work overload and general demands I’ve been lucky to have 1 day a month.  Still, better than before.

I have managed to up my workouts, which makes me feel strong and happy.  I have managed to get some control on my drinking…..still have my moments but everyday is it’s own battle.

Sadly my “me” time and / or alone time has dwindled even more.  There have been guests, there have been “dinners” and “visits” and I feel like I am constantly tethered, and not in a fun way🙂.

Things are starting to quiet down, but May has the look of an almost comical rash of visitors and “events”.  Might need to start wearing sunglasses cam just for the “Oh yes it did happen” value!

Oddly I have made a new friend…..I say oddly because he’s not into kink, but wants sex so we have sex.  He’s older, retirement age older, but the time we spend together is just quiet and low pressure.  I feel like I escape the stress and pressure in my life; we chat, we drink wine, we have sex…..more wine and chatting….and we carry on with our lives.  But, to update this, he has expressed an interest in some kink so we will see where that might go….

Happily last week I did get a very rough bbc fucking….that was nice for a few reasons.  Well obviously for the fucking, but also because of the unpredictability.  I list and plan most everything, so when something is not on my list….it freaks me out a little.  Alright, maybe more than a little.  But regardless, the stress relief of having my hands bound, my ass and pussy spread and exposed…..and not quite knowing what was “coming” next…..very beneficial.  Takes me a bit to process, initially I freak out some, but the after affect was (is) good.

So I continue to struggle towards what I want, but I am not giving up.  I have come to recognize that I can be very happy alone, if all these other things are in place, so I have begun to try to make more space for me, and what I need.
Might be a boring no sex post so here…..a cleavage pic!  IMAG0324-1CROPPED

 

Private Showing

As he watches her fingers caress her wetness, spreading her slick juices, his cock gets harder.  Her groans fill the room and her legs tremble as she waits for permission to cum.

She starts to plead “Please Sir…..please?”

His hard cock twitches as he considers all his options….which desire will he fulfill tonight?

Private show